dating 60 So, dating advice for a man in his 50s is a bit different than a man in his 20s, 30s, and 40s because you're at a diffe...
dating 60
So, dating advice for a man in his 50s is a bit different than a man in his 20s, 30s, and 40s because you're at a different stage of life typically. And unless you're a perpetual bachelor and you've never been in a long-term relationship and we're going to cover that at the end of this video. But if you have had any kind of long-term relationship typically you're in the stage where you know your career is typically going to be on track. Current circumstances aside, you have a job that you can count on or at least a trade that you have that you can count on or a skill that you can count on you're not developing yourself still. Usually in that case, you also have your finances in order. And so, if you're dating in your 50s you definitely want to make sure that you do have your job or a career and your finances in order and on track because women of any age don't want to be with a man who's in his 50s and broke or in debt or who doesn't have a job. So, I know it's a tricky one right now but the thing is she doesn't necessarily need you to have a job and money. Women don't need wealth that's a misconception. But she needs to know that you can provide for yourself and you're not going to be another dependent or a dependent for her. And that doesn't necessarily even mean that you have to have a job. If circumstances have transpired so that right now you might be out of work, but she needs to see you working towards rectifying that situation. So, if she can see that you are going to be fixing that problem then it won't be a turn off necessarily. Some women it will be but you know if that's the situation you're in then you just got to work with what you've got. Now, if you do have a job and your finances are on track then the world is your oyster or your clam if you prefer. Okay, the second area of your life that's going to be different for a man in his 50s than it would be for a man in his 20s, 30s, and 40s is going to be in area of relationships. You can have probably an ex and possibly or even probably some kids or a child with an ex. And that means that if you're going to be dating someone closer to your age even if she's in her 30s or 40s there's a good chance that she's going to have kids. And I'm going to give you a little story about children and adult children in a little bit so stay tuned for that. But what you want to know for dating advice for a man in his 50s in terms of ex-partners and children or stepchildren is just looking at how much they're involved in your world and what that will look like with another new potential partner. And what her children or possibly grandchildren look like in her life and how will that fit together. And again, I'll give you a story about a couple that I know that has some problems in this area and were able to resolve it and how so, stay tuned for that. And if you decide you'd rather date a woman who doesn't have children then you're likely well, not likely but you're. There's a greater possibility that she's going to be younger and there's a whole host of advice for men who want to date younger women so you can watch my video that I did on that and I'll link it at the end of this video as well. So, the next stage or the next area of a man who is in his 50s is libido. So, if you are in your 50s and above and you haven't had any supplementary testosterone your testosterone has or will be declining. It steadily declines once you get past your mid-20s and into a noticeable decline in your 50s. And what happens is that testosterone is the primary sex hormone for both men and women. And when that declines you go into the cuddle phase of your intimate life. So, in other words you will have a lower libido. So, if you do want to maintain a higher level of testosterone then you might want to get that checked and I will put a link below for a company that you can actually do this from home for with at, you know what I mean. You can get checked without having to go into a clinic. So, I'll link that below for you, but anyway, if you are a man in your 50s and your libido has changed and your drive is lower then that is something that you are going to want to find out if the woman you're interested in is on a compatible level with you. And yes, it's something that you should talk about because she's not necessarily going to be the same as you depending on her own health where she's at in life and just her general nature. Another thing about testosterone is that it is the aggressor hormone. So, it's not a bad thing this is what makes men, men. This is one of the things we love women love about men, is their masculinity. So, if you're finding and this actually applies if you're in your 20s, 30s, or 40s as well actually that you are naturally very passive or you've lost that little bit of assertiveness that maybe you once had and or you eat a lot of soy products, which increases estrogen and gives you man boobs, moobs. Then you may want to actually get your testosterone checked as well because no woman wants a man who's a doormat. If you want a woman who wants a man who's a doormat she's probably a dominant woman. And if you're a man in my channel you may not want a dominant woman, but just in case you do, I did a video that you might want to watch on attracting or dealing with dominant women so watch that. But if you don't want to be with a dominant woman and you'd like to actually increase your dominance level that you've lost a bit then you definitely want to get your testosterone checked. Especially if... Well, may not be especially but if you're in your 50s or actually this is where the especially comes in. If you're in your 20s, 30s, and 40s and don't have a sex drive or don't have any assertiveness then it could be that you're low in testosterone. So, get it checked man, get it checked. So, let's now talk a little bit more about money, money, money. So, dating advice for a man in his 50s includes having your finances on track, which I've already mentioned. But it also includes making sure the woman you're interested in has her finances on track because if you have acquired any amount of assets then you could be at risk for losing that if you are with the wrong woman or someone who is not in the same income and asset category as you are. As you may know if you've been through a divorce and lost your shirt, which many, many, many men have. So, eww, so make sure that you know that she's got her finances on track and also if you stick around I'm going give you a little tip on how to sell the prenup idea, stick around for that. Okay, so the next little bit of dating advice for a man in his 50s has to do with dependence and independence. So, what I mean is does she have dependence? Do you have dependence? And how much independence do you get because of that? So, I'm going to give you the example I was talking about earlier when I know a couple who got together, they were both widow and widower and had lost their long-term partners to cancer, which really sucks, cancer sucks. Anyways, they got together one positive was that they were able to share and helping each other with their grief because they understood the loss. But to do with children he had children and grandchildren and he was the go-to babysitter. She had grown children and grandchildren but they were already older and didn't have any little ones and she had been a foster mom all her adult life and had just retired because she was tired retired because tired. So, she didn't want to be babysitting anymore like, she'd done this for over 30 years. So, it became a bit of a point of contention because the kids were over there all the time like every day. Anyways, what they ended up doing was and is he agreed they talked about it and not in a confrontational, not in a can't deal with this. But they talked about it because they were each other's priority no matter what age you are. Your partner is your priority unless you have dependent children who live with you. Dependent children who you are responsible for then of course they have to be your priority. But otherwise, no matter where you are what stage 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, and beyond your partner should be your priority over other people when you're... I'll say there's an exception for this if you're in your 20s, 30s, but I'll talk about that in my next video. So, your partner is your priority so what this couple did was he agreed or suggested that he would babysit, be available to babysit on weekends if necessary if there wasn't somebody else. There was a bunch of kids so there were other options your grown kids that could also help out. So, he would agree to babysit on the weekends and if she still didn't feel like having a weekend with small waitress children, which I can completely understand then she would stay at her place. She kept her own place and typically they mostly now live together. It's been a few years and if she just feels like she doesn't want to be around little children she goes home to her own place and has her own time and they're able to miss each other and come back and be together in joyful bliss without any bitterness, joyful bliss without any bitterness. Okay, that was a long story, but you get the point. So, discuss, negotiate, compromise, figure it out, you can do it. But you also want to go into a relationship by asking about these kinds of questions in advance. So, you know how to deal with it because if you know there's kids and grandkids or whatever then you know you're going to have to deal with it because key point, and this is also for all age ranges. So, if you're here and you're under 50 good for you because you're getting some extra tips, just the tip. Key point, love is not enough love and physical attraction is not enough. You actually have to figure out if your values, beliefs, long-term goals are in alignment. And then you have a foundation and some lifestyle, did I say lifestyle? Okay, emphasis I guess on lifestyle. Okay, next tip for a man in his 50s. Dating advice for a man in his 50s is if you're divorced and you got bent over bad and lost your shirt and the rest of it you need to keep in mind that bitterness is not attractive. Don't be bitter, be better. I know it's cheesy, but it's true. You will come out of that with a self-protection mechanism saying all women are damaged goods and are going to take advantage of you. That's natural because you want to protect yourself and the reason part of the reason you need to protect yourself is because you trusted her. You trusted her and got into a relationship with her and maybe you didn't watch the red flags or watch for them that were probably present. But when you're older one of the advantages of dating someone who is also a bit older is that there probably will be more evident red flags that will be really obvious and you can filter those ones out right away. Or there will be fewer red flags because they've worked through their stuff and they're not necessarily going to change as much as someone who's going to be younger will change. So, you want to make sure that you don't fall for the same woman in a different physical form that you already have because we tend to go for what's familiar, not necessarily what's good for us. So, if you want to figure out how to filter to get the kind of woman you specifically and personally really want to be with and avoid the red flags that you specifically and personally are susceptible to ignoring or avoiding or ignoring. Then you definitely want to go through the process in my wake up to love program I will put a link below for that. And if you've lost your partner to the good lord above well, my heart goes out to you and you definitely want to heal, but don't take too much time. Don't get stuck in grief and use that as an excuse to not open yourself up to love again. Again, that's also a safety mechanism because love is the biggest risk of all. There's definitely going to be pain at the end if you love each other unless you get to die at the end together. Someone's going to go and that's going to be difficult if you've loved each other. So, watch my heartbreak videos on that and know that if you want to love again, if you want to take that chance again that there is someone else out there for you and that doesn't take away from the love you felt with your partner who's gone. Okay next one, dating advice for men over 50 changes. Okay so, if you're over 50 you're probably set in your ways in many ways if you're dating someone who's a bit older then she's probably set in her ways in many ways. There's good news and bad news the first thing is that if you're dating someone who's older you're not going to be in for surprises, but you also have to realize that you can't go for potential. So, you need to know your deal breakers and deal makers. Again, my wake up to love program will teach you to give you a process on how to figure that out. And you need to make sure that you are not going to try and change someone fundamentally maybe some behaviors but not the character of who they are just like you don't want to be changed. You can be informed that there's a certain thing that you do that maybe doesn't work that well. Like, I gave the example of the babysitting, but you don't want to be changed for who you essentially are as a person. It's really impossible well, it's not impossible but it's difficult to change even for ourselves never mind for someone else. So, one know that even if they want to change it's going to be a bit of a challenge for them to do so and you're going to have to be gentle and consistent with being tender in your request because just like you want to be respected in her requests for certain changes that you've agreed to but are difficult because you're just a habit of 50 years plus. She's going to be the same way unless you're dating someone younger. Here's the thing about dating someone younger. She's going to change, she's going to change over time we don't know what kind of changes are going to happen when she's in her 20s, 30s, and 40s she could become a totally different person especially if she goes through a midlife crisis like I did. So, I used to be all about the name brands and now I’m like eww, name brands eww, kill the earth. Anyways, so she... If she's younger she's definitely going to change and that brings us to the next point dating younger women. So, I won't go into all the ifs, ands, and butts, which you can find in the other video but I will give you a couple little side tips tip, tip, tip. If you're in your 50s or over and she's in her 20s, 30s, or even 40s she's going to expect you to be more direct with her. She's going to expect that you know what you want, you have certainty, you know how to ask for it in a kind and respectful way. So, that is going to be expected so definitely deliver on that keyword, respectfully. So, if you don't bring up the deal makers deal breakers expectations and some other practical matters in the beginning then you're going to be in for a world of hurt later or you could be if those things don't align. So, how do you be direct? Things like I don't want more kids, I’m getting a vasectomy or I had a vasectomy it's not an option. Definitely you want to say that if that's your truth or if you absolutely if you haven't had... I'll skip the haven't had until the end. Okay, ready for this one, I love that you're fit or slim or stylish, or positive, or whatever. Whatever it is that you really like about her don't assume that, that's always going to be there especially if she's actually younger because women change. If she's really fit and she's in her 50s that's probably not going to change but if she's in her 30s or 40s that could change so you want to stipulate I really appreciate that you're slim and fit that's something that's really important to me and I hope that never changes. Promise me you'll always be fit, slim, healthy working on or whatever. And then you can ask her what's important to you like what is it about me that has been attractive to you? That you want to make sure doesn't change over time? Lots of times guys end up with the beer belly also known as the *** locker, you know and that's not attractive to their women. Or they get lazy at home or with you know romantic gestures, I mean this is so common. So, if it's something that's important to her then you need to step up, but it's important to discuss these things at the beginning because if you don't then she might not realize that is an important aspect of your attraction for her. Now, you're saying well, she's going to say you know you should love me anyways. You should love me for who I am. Ladies if you're watching this no, because you should love him for who he is then whether or not he has a job or a beer belly or ever does anything romantic. Is that what you want or maybe you want to elevate your relationship and maintain a healthy happy relationship by giving of yourself what is important to him too so that you can get what you want too, right. Like okay, so sorry guys. A little snippy on that one, but get my point I think. Okay, so then there's another one too I look forward to living with a woman again and here's where I’m going to give you the prenup bit, but I'll never do it again unless she wants to sign a prenup because I trusted a woman and it didn't work out, but you'll appreciate that as well because you want to be protected. In case I make bad financial choices you don't want to be paying for my debts if I've screwed up do you? Okay, so if she's got any assets at all she should be like oh yeah, right ahh. If I don't sign a prenup I’m responsible for his bad financial decisions in the future that I could be on the hook for. If she doesn't have any money and she box at this stand firm if it's important to you or you're taking the risk again, that's your choice. But go into it knowing fully and taking responsibility for that choice. If you bring it up in the very beginning then it's not that you're surprising her with it later and saying oh, now I don't trust you. If you bring it up at the very, very beginning how can you trust her she should know that there hasn't been enough time to trust and that way even though later she'll think well now you should trust me. It doesn't matter it's already been planned the seed has been planted that that's not an option. It's not an option unless she's willing to do that if that's important to you. Okay, moving on if she still box then you can just say well, you know then maybe we're just not the right fit. And you don't have to be bitter, you don't have to be negative, you don't have to be angry everything's like cool. You're cool with everything, you're like calm with the work or the phrase cool, calm, and content. It's like no big deal nothing fazes you there's it, that's what it is, nothing fazes you. So, if she's not willing to be okay with that and that's a deal breaker for you then you can just walk away and then she can decide if that's really a deal breaker for her. So, here's another example actually I know someone who really... Okay, a couple she wanted to get married. She wanted to get married from the very beginning said that wasn't an option he came from a divorce home and it was never going to be an option. It was a point of contention for many years in their relationship, but he always stood firm. She did actually leave him a couple times but always came back because she loved him and realized that, that wasn't a big deal in the end. They stayed together for over 27 years until she passed and went on. So, there you go there's another story for you key point, if she's older she will had enough life and relationship experiences to have her own deal breakers and deal makers. So, she should be okay with you having some standards and deal breakers and deal makers because she's going to have someone you got to figure out if they're going to be in alignment to be able to work together on this relationship. Another key point, no matter how old you are never go for potential. You can't go for someone and hope that they're going to change and actually women do this far more often than men do. But just in case you think you can win her over into doing something more than she's doing or wants to do or whatever it is that's important to you don't assume that, that's going to happen. You've got to move forward as is where is assuming that she doesn't change. All right, now what if you are a bachelor, never married, no kids? Guess what, you get to keep playing the field you go with any woman any age, legal age, and decide what you want out of that relationship. And you don't have to worry about exes and step kids or your own kids or any of that stuff. So, you just need to know what you want. And again if you haven't ever committed to a woman, but you've come close but that hasn't been the right one then my wake up to love program will help you as well because it'll help you decide or determine what kind of woman is the right one for you specifically so you recognize her when you meet her and also so that you also recognize the red flags of the ones that aren't her. So, get my wake up to love program you will benefit. (Music) (Music) ...
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