meet women over 50 when i'm using the word rule in this video i'm not saying that these are literal biblical statements and c...
meet women over 50
when i'm using the word rule in this video i'm not saying that these are literal biblical statements and commandments that you'll find in scripture as obviously the bible doesn't give us really specific narrow dating advice rather the scriptures give us wise biblical principles about all of life that we can then apply to this very narrow topic that we're talking about right now so when i use the word rule i'm using it like a step this is a biblical statement a step that you can take as you apply this biblical wisdom so here are seven rules or seven steps if you're a christian single person who's middle aged and would like to be married one day rule number one don't try to meet people like a younger person if god wanted everyone to get married in the exact same way and follow the exact same path god would have made a very clear biblical blueprint that we all have to follow but that's not what god did rather he gave us biblical commands and principles that we need to then wisely apply to all areas of life even the areas that aren't directly mentioned in scripture like when it comes to dating for example when you're a younger person usually you're going to end up meeting someone by just living a socially normal life where you spend time in a christian community filled with other christian singles that's why so many people end up meeting their future spouse at say like a christian college because naturally there's thousands of singles there all in the same season of life who are getting close to that age where they're prepared to get married but when you're getting older obviously the odds of naturally just meeting someone in normal day life get a lot less likely because people are marrying off i think everyone's getting busier people have full-time jobs and so it's just not wise to act in the same way that you've always acted in order to try to meet people so the older you get the more i recommend that you be more intentional intentional is when you go somewhere or do something with the specific purpose of actually finding someone who's a christian who's around your age and wants to actually get into a relationship too so ask god for wisdom on this on how to try to meet people in a different way than when you were younger rule number two don't use courting principles courting is a process that many christians have been taught that focuses on marriage really soon in the relationship because it's really about getting to know someone a lot so it emphasizes friendship first then you often have to talk to a spiritual authority figure to get permission to date each other and then again right from the start you're talking about marriage a lot because you've already had a long time to get to know each other in friendship now i'm not saying courting is bad for everyone but i am saying it's way more helpful for younger christians who maybe come from like a conservative background that have this community built in that everyone's operating in this system but once you get older and ideally you're becoming more mature as well you should already have a good idea of the type of thing you're looking for in someone and thus all those rules and hoops that are in courting can be be very stifling for someone who's older so basically my advice is make it a rule not to follow man-made rules blindly and that goes for this video too all these rules that i'm you know making i'm trying to do my best to apply biblical wisdom but obviously you have to use wisdom and the guidance of the holy spirit to apply these rules to your life because the because anything that's not directly stated in scripture verbatim word for word there's room for air so be cautious in following these man-made rules that are in courting that really are not beneficial for you the older you get number three eliminate conflicting desires choose the most important desires to you and then get rid of all the other desires that are actually hindering you from accomplishing that most important desire for example if you're a christian woman and you really want to marry a christian man that's a great desire but his height could be a conflicting desire yeah that's nice if you find a guy that's the height you want usually women want a guy who's taller but if that's conflicting with this greater desire of finding a godly man then get rid of this other desire the same goes for men if you're a man who really wants to find a christian woman her waist size that's not as important as is she actually a christian so if this desire about a certain waist size is conflicting with this desire of finding a christian woman then you gotta figure out the value system there now don't get me wrong i'm not saying you need to settle i'm not saying you just need to pick someone that you're not attracted to or that you don't really enjoy being around but what i am saying is that when you refuse to accept anything but everything oftentimes you end up with nothing so let me say that again when you want everything often times you end up with nothing so pray with the lord and figure out your value system and make sure your desires aren't conflicting and getting in the way of each other as 1st timothy 6 verse 6 states but godliness with contentment is great gain number four learn to be more accepting of others and emotionally stable with yourself because you're rooted in christ please don't feel like i'm saying that if you're single and you want to be married you're for sure doing something wrong you may be doing everything right the fact is sometimes we just need to accept it's not god's will right now submit to god and follow the plan he has for us seeking to fulfill the purpose he has for this season of our life regardless of what we do or don't have with that said in scripture we're also told to be wise to look at our life to make sure we're living in the best way possible to bring god glory and to pursue those things and desires he's put on our heart so when we take time to examine ourselves what i found is that many times the thing getting in the way of relationships is a lack of acceptance of others combined with a lack of emotional self-sufficiency because you're rooted in christ so let me break that down a little bit a lot of times people are very unaccepting of others and so they need everyone else to fit into the image that they believe they should fit into and then when they have a lack of self-sufficiency emotional self-sufficiency in themselves they're constantly looking for other people to make them feel good inside and so because you have a really unaccepting view and because you have this strong desire to for someone else to make you happy you're just constantly looking and never able to pick somebody because there's this fear that they're not going to make you happy and the reality is it's a valid fear because we all know they're not so again i'm not saying there aren't standards i'm not saying just pick any random person and just deal with it but i am saying just pray about having a healthy acceptance of others knowing that jesus is perfect jesus is the only jesus a lot of times people say i'm looking for someone like jesus well that's there's only one jesus no one else is perfect of course we want to look for someone who is trying to be like jesus and follow jesus and we should be that type of person as well but again no one's perfect so by becoming a more emotionally self-sufficient in christ and becoming more accepting of other people you're going to be able to enjoy them more for who they are and what they have rather than constantly being hyper focused on who they're not and what they don't have rule number five change something proverbs 12 15 states the way of a fool is right in his own eyes but a wise man listens to advice ultimately we all need to make those choices ourselves because we have to take personal responsibility for how we're living our life so of course it's fine to use the method that you feel is best for you to meet date and marry the person god has for you but in wisdom it also is good to accept that if what we're doing isn't working it makes sense to try something different even if you think your way is better than someone else's way just by trying someone else's way can get you different results because you're just doing something different for example if you've been trying online dating for years and it's not working perhaps it's time to stop trying that method on the other hand if you've never tried online dating and you think it's just from the devil well maybe explore how you could use it in a godly way and give it a shot so when in doubt ask other people for their advice because we have to be humble enough to know we can't see everything rule number six stop yo-yo dating and seek to be more consistent i've found that many christians often swing between the two extremes of being very passive and very active so sometimes they get really excited and motivated and they're like i'm gonna do something and they sign up on a bunch of online platforms dating platforms they fill out their profile they start maybe they give that person a chance who's been pursuing them and they're like i'm gonna do something and then a few weeks go by and they're like i really am stressed i'm anxious i'm turning off online dating i'm deleting all the profiles i'm telling that person i gotta just focus on god right now and obviously there are moments in life where it's good to take a step back call time out and just focus on god but if you're the type of person who keeps bouncing back and forth between these two extremes that's really going to hinder you from getting into a relationship because like anything else in life you have to be consistent quick results are not reality it's not gonna happen like that whatever method you use it's gonna take time and hard work it's gonna not work at first you just gotta stick with it and if you're constantly jumping back and forth it's like you're constantly hitting that reset button way too often and number seven don't get bitter keep enjoying your life i don't know why god hasn't allowed you to get married right now you may be doing something wrong you may be doing everything right really only god knows that but here's one thing i do know bitterness and unhappiness are unattractive if you're upset at god because you don't have what you want right now if you're bitter at the opposite sex because you feel like so many of them have wronged you and all men are just this way all women are doing this nonsense and you're projecting this negative attitude or you're just depressed because your life hasn't turned out the way that you want and you've just stopped living because you don't have a relationship even though you have all these other open doors you could be pursuing those things are actually going to be preventing you from getting into a relationship the odds of meeting someone that you really enjoy and connect with go up in a dramatic fashion the more you live your life the more ministry you do the more enjoying you do in your life the more relationships you're fostering those are all open doors to other people who are also doing those types of things so whatever does or doesn't happen always remember the biblical truth that god has a good plan for your life as philippians 1 verse 6 states and i am sure of this that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of jesus christ really what i'm talking about in this last point is not only looking for the one but seeking to become the one for someone else we're often trying to identify that person but that person also needs to identify us so if you want to know how to be identified how god will turn you into the one i talk about that in this video right here people say they're really enjoying it i'd encourage you to also watch that video i'm mark from applyguysword.com thanks so much for watching i hope this was helpful to you and until next time god bless ...
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