bobby rio dating coach so let's talk about the art and psychology of seduction so what's the difference between a woman who ...
bobby rio dating coach
so let's talk about the art and psychology of seduction so what's the difference between a woman who likes you and a woman who's been seduced by you because a lot of guys can get to that she likes me zone where it's comfortable it's light maybe even if it's physical the dynamic is where you might kiss or you might even sleep together you might even have long fun conversations that feel like you're really connecting but she's not chasing you she's not hooked and it always feels like you're one bad date away from losing her from things fizzling out because deep down you can feel it yes she likes you yes you've created mild attraction but you haven't crossed into the realm of seduction seduction is where she feels that deeper more intense pull towards you it's not just he's cute or I like being around him it's where she's thinking about you when you're not around wondering what she can do to get closer to you and however close it is however close she gets it's not enough she craves more that's the difference between liking you and seduction and in this video I'm going to show you how seduction really works how to create it how to hold it and how to use it to spark real desire hi I'm Bobby Rio and if you're like most guys you probably do what most guys do when they're trying to attract a woman you compliment her you show her you're interested you make her laugh you tell her stories and you try to connect with her the mindset is treat her great and eventually she'll realize that you're the one but seduction doesn't work that way she doesn't logically decide that you check all the boxes it's time to feel seduced you can't hope your way into it you can't negotiate your way into it that's not how it actually plays out seduction is an unconscious response and it happens on a deeper gut level and it happens whether she wants it to or not it's something she has literally no control over it's an emotional and mental pull and the thing that creates that pull that emotional charge that she can't quite explain is this this is what creates that charge that's the missing ingredient for most guys not effort not having deeper conversations not making her laugh more tension is what flips that switch it's what takes her from he's nice to why can't I stop thinking about him and in the rest of this video I'm going to show you exactly how to create it how to hold it and how to use it in every stage of seduction from the first interaction to the moment she starts chasing you so let's break it down what exactly do I mean by tension so what is tension tension is that subtle emotional pressure that you feel just below the surface where you feel like if you don't relieve it if you don't relieve that pressure you're going to explode we've all been there it's what you feel when you're waiting for that girl you really like to text you back it's what you feel when you make eye contact with an attractive woman across the room and she holds it for just a split second longer than is normal and you feel that electric spark right so you look away tension is what you feel when you and a woman have begun dating and it's going well and she goes out with her her girlfriends one night and tells you that she'll text you when she gets home and 11:00 p.m passes no text midnight still none and now it's 1:00 a.m and that tension is sky high well it's the same for her it's the moment where something might happen but it doesn't happen yet it's the pause between the flirtation and the follow-through it's the second of eye contact that lingers just a little too long it's that touch that happens and then stops before she's ready tension is her wanting more but not getting it yet and that space that stretch between will it happen and did that just happen that's where seduction lives seduction is the buildup it's the anticipation it's about what's going to happen but hasn't happened yet think of it as the mental and emotional foreplay that keeps her attention glued on you eager for what comes next this doesn't just play out in texting right it plays out everywhere the guys who get this they don't rush to fill every silence when they're talking to a woman they don't spill their feelings at the first opportunity they create tension and they hold it that's what makes a woman feel seduced once you understand that seduction is about emotional tension then you need to know how to actually use it because there's a rhythm to it and there's a formula that I teach and I'm going to teach you the formula right now you want to write it down so the formula is build tension then you let it stretch and then finally you reward it now most guys never get this right they either don't create any tension at all or they create it and then kill it immediately think of attention compliments physical affection and emotional attachment like firewood a little at a time is perfect but if you put it all in at once you smother the fire and it fizzles out before it can get bigger and that's kind of how seduction is if you give her all of these things at once right if you're if you if you do everything at once you throw her the compliments the the emotional attachment and the affection and you give it to her all too soon all at once you smother things before seduction can form and that's because you're eliminating the one thing it needs which is tension tension is what allows that fire to get bigger and to get more intense so let me show you a few examples of exactly what this rhythm looks like in the real world so remember build tension let it stretch and then reward it so let's go back to the example of she's out with her friends and told you that she text you when she gets home right i just want you to put your self in her position so that you can kind of understand this emotional roller coaster that she's going through so put yourself in there right it's 10:00 p.m she's out with her friends you're getting a little jealous but she told you that she would text you when she gets home 10 p.m comes you're like "Ah yeah you know what it's still early she'll she's probably still out it's It's early." 11:00 p.m comes and you're like "Hm." 11:00 p.m it's getting late but it's still totally normal right fine midnight comes now that tension's forming like oo midnight and she hasn't texted yet she must be having a good time i wonder if she's met anybody who's she with what that tension right it's it's creeping in and then it stretches and stretches while you're waiting in that uncertainty zone right 1:00 a.m that tension is now stretching and then when that text finally comes right all of a sudden 1:15 you get that text from her you get a reward now here's the thing when when that tension had time to stretch when that text finally comes in when that reward finally comes in it's more pleasurable more dopamine is released this is why I always tell guys that don't feel the the need to eliminate that uncertainty when we like a woman and we're out one night we have that desire with us right if if we're out and and we're like "Oh we'll text I'll text you when I get home." Our desire is "I want to make her comfortable i don't want her to get jealous i don't want her to be worried." Right so we check in with her right maybe in the maybe even when we're still out with our friends we send her a text hey having fun what are you up to right um we're trying to relieve and ease that uncertainty in her when you do that you're eliminating the tension that needs to be there to move things towards seduction there's other ways you add tension right it's not just texting you can do this with physical affection an example is the almost kiss so you're close you're looking at her the moment's there and you lean in slow right you let her feel it you're building the tension then you pause right before the kiss you hold eye contact you smirk and you say "Not yet." Now you're stretching it okay a few minutes later when she's leaning in this time then you kiss her that's the reward that delay that stretch that's what it feel that's what makes it feel more electric so there was a study years ago that showed more dopamine is released anticipating a reward than the actual reward what does this mean this means the buildup is more pleasurable than finally getting what you want most guys don't realize this they think we're playing games oh don't text her because it's playing games and I want to trick her no you're giving her the gift of anticipation that gift is pleasurable that's what you have to understand everybody's like "I don't want to play games i shouldn't have to play games." Well then you're depriving her of what's actually pleasurable not only that but I always say to guys that women associate longing with love so when she's longing for that kiss when she's longing for that text when she's longing to hear you say "I love you," that's actually what's leading her to believe that she's in love with you once you say it especially if you do it too quickly you got rid of all that anticipation which means you're you're reducing the amount of dopamine she's getting you're reducing the the likelihood that she actually falls in love with you and you want to be weaving this into all your interactions so for instance complimenting and flirting follow the same formula i call it the tease and disqualify so you might teasingly say something like "You look like the type of woman that just ruins men's lives." Now you're saying it in a playful way it's a playful accusation and that's building tension she'll laugh right say "Oh really?" But before she can dig deeper you pivot away and you say something like "Anyway where'd you grow up?" That's letting it stretch out later you circle back to her and you give her a flirty look and you say "So tell me how many hearts have you broken?" Or you know whatever flirty line again well now you're rewarding her again that's the release that's the reward another way to do this is where she feels it but you don't label it right you two are vibing chemistry is there you lean in you drop a low toned you know you're kind of dangerous you know that which creates the tension you let it stretch you don't explain it you don't compliment her afterwards you just let it sit there later when she's playfully challenging you you bring it back up there's that uh danger that I was talking about i like it though it's sexy right that's the reward the magic isn't in the comment it's not in the you're dangerous it's not in the you're It's It's in that stretch of time where she's wondering like "What did you mean what's coming next was that a compliment or was he like serious?" Right she's not quite sure and she wants to relieve that tension what about one of the ways that most guys blow it and that's with giving a woman attention most guys kill a seduction because they smother her with attention like I said like that fire that needs you know that's slowly um putting in the the attention and the uh compliments right or else you smother it attention is really big this way so let's say you're at a party with her or you're just out with a group and she's there and you're kind of in that new stage well what do most guys do right most guys spend the whole time with her they they give her all their attention and again right it's doesn't give her that buildup so what you can do instead is you engage her you maybe give her a little spark right maybe you tease her you hold that eye contact a little longer than normal you lean in like you're about to say something flirty you're building up the tension then you just pull your attention away and you let it stretch you go and you turn and you start a conversation with somebody else you go to the bar to get a drink right maybe you don't text her the next day she's left in that in between space she felt your attention she felt that she had all your presence and now it's gone and she starts wondering why did he pull it back was he into me did I mess up and that creates sort of that void that tension that she wants to relieve right so eventually you reward it the next day you re-engage her right but just a little bit you don't overdo it maybe a message that says "You're still trouble aren't you?" or a playful "You look like you were plotting something last night." That attention feels way more valuable now because she had to feel that space where it wasn't there most guys are afraid to give her that space they're afraid to pull back their attention because they think that it'll make her lose interest but the opposite's true if there's all already a spark pulling back creates this emotional tension it flips the script now she's the one wondering now she's trying to win your attention back and when you finally give her that little hit of it again it lands 10 times harder it's 10 times more powerful so now that you understand the formula build tension let it stretch and reward it let's talk about where most guys kill the vibe without even realizing it because tension doesn't just happen and more importantly it's kind of fragile so here's a few of the most common ways guys ruin it anytime you get serious anytime you get logical when she's testing you when she's flirting with you when she's being suggestive instead of playing with it um and you get logical you kill the vibe right she says "You're trouble i could tell you're trouble." And you go "No I'm actually really a respectful guy." Right like you're answering logically boom tension's gone or she pauses she gets quiet the vibe dips right you guys are talking and then there's that like kind of silence that's the tension building but a lot of guys in that situation they can't handle that tension so they rush to reassure oh my god this place is so cool you you know I tell you that you look beautiful tonight right validation compliments just trying to to fill the dead air because you feel that tension and you assume the tension is bad but that pause that silence that unpredictability that's tension and instead of leaning away from it you want to actually lean into it hold the pause right if if there's an uncomfortable silence hold it there look at her let it linger and let it build a little bit before jumping back into the conversation a lot of guys feel like they need to fill every silence to keep her interested but silence handled handled right is where tension actually begins to build same thing with silence over text we keep bringing this up but I think a lot of guys are really scared to let that silence linger so imagine you and her flirty back and forth instead of killing it by trying to keep going right you know she sends you you send just drop off on a high note and go silent for a while stretch it out that way the next time she does hear from you it legitimately feels like a reward she gets that dopamine hit i think a lot of guys when they find a woman that they like they treat the courtship like they're walking on a tight rope and in your mind you're so scared of falling off the tight rope you're so scared of slipping and losing her that you try to run across it as fast as you can to get to the other side so that you can solidify things with her but the problem is when you try to rush to the other side that's what actually causes you to slip and fall you feel the chemistry and instead of letting it breathe you just jump the gun and you say something like "I really like you." before she's earned it you try to move things forward before the moment has had time to stretch and in doing that you shortcircuit the seduction tension is not something that you have to fix it's something that you have to hold a lot of guys when they feel that tension they immediately want to go "How do I fix this?" Instead think of how do I stretch this out so now that you got the basic rhythm of seduction let's talk about how you can turn the heat up a little bit more because some situations some dynamics naturally amplify tension and it all comes down to this psychological truth so the psychological truth is we want what we're not supposed to have so part of the reason when I was giving the examples of the flirty things you say to her calling her dangerous or saying you're the type of woman who ruins men's lives right what you're doing there is you're creating this barrier i'm not supposed to want you right it amplifies the tension anytime that you're in you're tapping into the psychological truth that we want something we're not supposed to have there's a moment there's a barrier a rule a line that you shouldn't cross a sense that this isn't supposed to happen that's when desire spikes it's not about being manipulative it's about tapping into how human psychology works when something feels slightly forbidden or just out of reach it lights up the brain for whatever reason it's just basic human psychology it creates uncertainty risk curiosity all the raw ingredients of seduction when I think about two of the quickest seductions for both myself and the woman right where we both went from being attracted to just completely seduced um they both had this element naturally built in of of of not supposed to having it the first time it played out was was years ago and I had started talking to this girl and then I found out that she used to date this guy that I knew now he wasn't one of like my best friends i had no real loyalty to him but I still played into it right i used the fact that she used to date this guy Greg as a barrier where I'd be like "This is wrong we shouldn't do this but I want to right and she'd be the same way we shouldn't do this we shouldn't do this." Um and it increased that tension now the same thing happened years later in reverse when I started talking to this girl Rebecca and she was good friends with a girl Nicole who I used to date and Nicole still had some feelings for me so me and Rebecca were like "We shouldn't do this this is wrong." And and it wasn't like fake like we really didn't want to hurt Nicole's feelings but looking back on it that that concept of this being wrong we shouldn't do this made that seduction happen even faster well of course the fact right that we shouldn't do it amplified the tension the key with this idea is that it doesn't need to be a real barrier like my examples happen to be real because I wanted to stress the point but you can do this by creating just about any barrier so let's say you're out at a restaurant with a woman and it's loud and it's a little crowded and she's sitting across from you you lock eyes you lean in slowly like you might kiss her but instead you pull back and whisper "If we weren't in public right now right false barrier." Then you smile and you leave it at that you created a boundary and you let her imagination break it that tension right that little we shouldn't do this moment it doesn't shut attraction down it actually amplifies it now there's actually a lot of ways that you can create these barriers i teach 12 of them and that's just one example of it the truth is most guys rush they rush the connection they rush the kiss they rush to lock down the moment a woman shows interest but the guys who win the guys that women chase the ones that seduce a woman they don't just get her to like him they seduce her they're the ones who can hold the moment who can let the tension stretch let her wonder a little bit longer let her imagination do half the work that's what seduction really is the ability to build pressure and resist the urge to release it too soon now here's where this gets even more powerful because once you understand how to create tension the next question is well how do you keep it going how do you keep it going every step of the way how do you stretch it out over days through text through the way you make her feel like she's slowly earning more of your attention that's exactly what I show you inside my scrambler video the scrambler is a technique I teach that takes everything you've learned about tension and shows you how to apply it from the first message to when she's chasing you it shows you how to build that rhythm how to stretch it how to deepen it and how to keep her emotionally invested without ever having to convince her of anything because when you create that kind of experience for a woman you're not just the guy she likes you're the guy she can't stop thinking about so if you want to learn how the scrambler works I'm going to put a link in the description below where I walk you through the entire technique and it's all about eliciting the chasing her instead of the other way around because most guys chase women but women want to be the one chasing a man and it's in their instinct it's in their DNA um they don't want to be chased and the guys that think by chasing it's going to get them but by chasing you're actually pushing her further away they want to chase you they want a man they have to chase because whenever she's in t chase mode the tension is being built when she's being chased the tension is relieved way too quickly so how do you get a woman chasing you well that's what I talk about in the video below you can find a link in the description and here's the good news if you've already made a mistake if you've already broken the tension if you're thinking "Well I've already done all these things wrong." Well here's the thing it's not too late to fix it and in fact when you suddenly change behavior it spikes tension because she expected you to act a certain way and then all of a sudden you did something different something unexpected something unpredictable well that tension increases again and if you take the right steps from here on out you can change things just watch the video and you'll get a much clearer understanding of what you can do from here on out to not only stop a woman from pulling away to not only stop women in the future from pulling away but to get them into that next realm where you're into the mode of seduction so click the link below watch the video now and as always if you like this hit like subscribe to the channel and leave me a comment let me know what your biggest insight was in the video and what you'd like to cover in the next ...
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