To get a girlfriend , you need to: Meet more girls . You're not going to want to date most of them. Most of them aren't going...
To get a girlfriend, you need to:
Meet more girls. You're not going to want to date most of them. Most of them aren't going to want to date you. You need to meet lots of people all the time in order to find one you're compatible with.
Where do you meet girls? In places where girls go. Like baguette places. Yoga studios. Fro-yo stores. But also places like churches, trains, and professional events. You can meet the woman of your dreams anywhere.
You will meet more people when you go to more classes, parties, talks and events. You will meet people if you make good eye contact, take initiative and introduce yourself. Don't worry about having an awesome opening line -- if there's an attraction/spark, it won't matter what you say. (You'll have time to redeem yourself later -- but if you don't say hi, you'll never even get the chance to do that, so...)
As John Steinbeck once wrote, a great way to meet people is by getting lost. Next time you need directions or a recommendation for a good place to eat, put your stupid smart phone away and ASK a real, live person where to go. I don't have a smart phone, so I have to ask whether I like it or not. And you have no idea how many great friends I've made this way.
Proximity. It's the number one factor in determining liking. So be in proximity with lots of people/women. Apartments, gyms, work, etc. The mere exposure effect states that the more someone sees you, the more they will like you. So see and be seen.
Make an effort. You're shy, so it's going to be harder for you to make gestures than maybe it would be for someone else. But if you don't show interest/effort, the girl either won't know you're interested, or won't care. Don't go overboard and scare her, but be sweet and thoughtful and respectful.
If you want to see her again, don't push the physical stuff, or she will think you're an asshole.
Don't force it. If she's not right for you, she's not right for you. Don't waste your time. You can't change her. Maybe she'd make a great friend, though.
And if she doesn't like you, there's probably not much you can do (short of making a ton of money or getting a different girl to be your girlfriend) to change her mind. If you text her a lot and she doesn't respond, give her time to write back. Either she will, or she won't.
If you're not meeting people in real life, there's nothing terribly wrong or stigmatizing about online dating. I've never done it, so I can't speak from personal experience. Plus I'm a girl, so it's different. But I know a lot of dudes it's worked reasonably well for. You're a techie, so no one's going to judge you for it.
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