dating in your 40s as a man today's question reflects a huge frustration that I know a lot of my audience has and it's also a...
dating in your 40s as a man
today's question reflects a huge frustration that I know a lot of my audience has and it's also a frustration for me to answer it so let's just get it off both of our chests and answer it once and for all here's the question is 35 too late to start day game will I only get really good at like 39 or 40. so I understand where this question is coming from on about 10 different levels and none of them are really good or useful but it is an important question because it does get asked a lot and it is a concern that people have and the idea here I think is a few things number one there's this idea that as you get older your habits get more ingrained and it gets harder to change them right this whole like can you teach an old dog new tricks thing and the answer to that question in the dog sense is yes you can it just takes longer because you have to unwind more habits but yes you can teach an old dog new tricks all right so that in that sense yes it can be done yes you can learn at that age the second question the way it's phrased is am I gonna run out of time is there some sort of Runway and if I don't hit the end of it at enough speed I'm gonna crash it will I only be good at 39 or 40. well I would ask the asker of this question so what if you get good at 39 or 40 is that a problem I'm currently 41 and granted yes I would say like I'm not just good at this I'm probably hopefully a world-class level at this point but I am dating more attractive more eligible girls now than I ever have at any point in my life even when I was in my 20s and good at this or in my 30s and good at this right so it's not like you know you jump off a cliff at 40 and there's no more social life for you right there's plenty of social life past 40. even if you did take till 39 or 42 get good at this so that's not really a deal breaker either but my biggest answer to this question is this what do you mean when you say I will only get good or really good by Third nine or 40 because here's the truth about game every single step of the way every single bit of progress you make your life gets better and actually at the start you're making tremendous leaps and your life is getting enormously better okay when I first started approaching girls granted yes I was 18 not 35 but when I first started approaching girls it was utterly an absolutely life-changing I was a different person three months into it than I was three months before and that is not an exaggeration I had different motivation I saw the world differently I made fewer excuses I found more and better and Creative Solutions I saw the things I was learning in game affecting the rest of my life and making me better at social skills in general better at sales better at handling adversity what game will do for you quickly is absolutely out of this world it's absolutely insane what game will do for you quickly even if you don't get to an advanced level at it every step along the way every bit of growth you're going to get in game especially the early stuff is life-changing right so yeah if you could start at 35 and it would take you to 40 to be Advanced or world class or whatever which by the way it shouldn't even take that long if you're really dedicated but let's assume it would take you that long well who cares because in three months or six months you still will have made massive progress and in three months or six months you'll be getting more dates and let's say that you started doing Day game and you started getting more comfortable talking to girls and more charismatic and you didn't even get a lot of dates from Day game but let's say you were getting a slow trickle of dates from your Social Circle throughout your life you would probably triple it or quadruple or quintuple or ten times that just from doing Day game and from being more social as well right and maybe you're 10 times in one day a year and now it's 10 Dates a year as still a pretty damn big improvements the point is this if you're looking at it as like okay I have to get to expert level and that's my that's my be-all and end-all and that's all I want out of game that's not understanding fundamentally how beautiful game is because the thing about game is every single step is such an enhancement getting from low level beginner to high level beginner will change your life getting from high level beginner to intermediate will absolutely completely turn your life upside down in a good way and getting from intermediate to Advanced will take everything in your life to this insane ridiculous level that's how powerful game is as a tool for growth not only with women but in everything also by the way it should not take you four to five years to start seeing massive massive progress now depending what you consider really good if you consider really good world class yeah it may take you you know a long time to get there but to get to 80 of world class doesn't take really that long what you learn in game early on is truly life-changing right when you learn not to supplicate that will change your life when you learn that it's okay to talk to strangers and that there aren't huge consequences from that that will change your life in so many ways not just with women when you learn how to spark attraction on command as opposed to just crossing your fingers and waiting and hoping for a girl to like you it will blow your mind first of all it will also change how you walk through the world in a way that you will never go back don't think of game as this binary either I have zero or I have one right I have either have game or I don't have Gamers opposite from the way I do it the other way but regardless it's not something you either have or don't have there's this huge gray area at every step of gray every shade of gray along that gray area is massive life progress so I really want to emphasize I think as I said that six different ways at this point but if you're viewing game the way that the asker of this question is viewing game you're not getting anywhere near the value you're going to at a game just to give you my perspective on this is someone that's seen people grow in game I'm gonna give you a similar but different question that I think we all know the answer to and I want to show you how they're very similar right if someone were to come to you and let's say they are massively out of shape they're obese and in poor health and they really are like you know starting to become sickly and get diseases from being in poor health and they're like look I'm 35 is it too late for me to get in shape is it too late for me to get in the gym and the answer is it is probably too late for them to become an Olympic athlete that ship has probably sailed that ship probably sailed a couple decades ago and it probably sailed about a hundred pounds ago right they are not going to become a world-class athlete however getting in the gym and getting in shape is probably the single best thing they can do and one of the single most important decisions they can make and if they you know started at let's say 400 pounds and they got themselves down to 300 over a course of many years that would be tremendous for their life and they would still be overweight and they would still be out of shape and they would still not be a world-class athlete but their life would be so much better right the question is okay I'm 35 is it too late well look it would have been better if you started earlier yes it would have been better if you started earlier that would have been great but you can't you can't go back in time nobody has a time machine and think think of it this way if you're worried that 35 is too late ask yourself this if I get to 45 how much worse is that right so whatever time it is is the right time for you to start game in the same way that whatever moment it is is the right time for you to start getting healthy and getting in shape and yes it would have been great if you lived your whole life healthy and yes it would have been great if you learned game from you know a mentor when you were two years old and never even had to study it formally because it was just like in your bones right that would be great but if you're not there you have to make the right decision from the place where you are and the answer to both those questions I'll give you a third one as well right should I get fit and when should I start yes and now should I start being financially better and when should I start working on it yes and now and third one should I start working on game and win yes and now okay these are massive areas of growth in your life and yeah it would have been great if you started them earlier in all cases but since you didn't and since you're at this moment the best decision you can make is to start now okay so that answers the main part of this question because it is sort of obliquely asked I'll answer this as well how long will it really take you to get to a decent level in game if you are a typical beginner and again all beginners are different some beginners have like literally no social experience of any kind they lived like under Rock their whole lives some beginners are actually really good with you know guys and social situations are just not particularly good with girls and those are two very different cases however for just about any beginner who's dedicated and willing to put in the work to get to intermediate you should be able within a period of less than a year to get to a place where if you're willing to do enough approaches you can predictably get into relationships with cute desirable girls you should be able to do at least that within a year if you're willing to put your ego aside do the work and be smart about it and by the way for a lot of you it'll be a lot quicker so that's that's the extreme case we're talking within a year some of you it could be weeks or months for sure it depends how hard you want to work how smart you want to work it depends a little bit where you're starting from but really if you commit to this journey you can get there and you can get there a lot faster than you think and again as I mentioned before the rewards along the way will be amazing and will keep you on the journey final note if you are starting game at 35 I'm not going to like blow smoke up your ass and say that it's better that you're starting now than if you started younger however I will say you do probably have some advantages over starting younger because you're probably more established in the world you probably have a better job you probably have a better financial situation you probably have more life experience and more things you can bring into a girl's life than you did when you were younger so in that sense your progress actually should be faster yes it would have been nice to have started sooner I'm not gonna lie that would have been the case but you do have some advantages being an older guy as well so don't overlook those so all you old farts get out there there's no excuse by the way if you're 35 you're actually younger than me so I'm the old fart but yeah get out there take action it's the right thing to do start and start now please for yourself so that was actually more fun to answer than I thought it was going to be if you have questions post them below and I will get to those questions that is where I get a lot of the content for that channel thanks for being here see you on the next one ...
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