scrambler dating technique hey guys Bobby Rio here with Rob judge and we got a lot to talk about something cuz Rob and I were out at...
scrambler dating technique
hey guys Bobby Rio here with Rob judge and we got a lot to talk about something cuz Rob and I were out at dinner last night with there's some mutual friends and one of our buddies was talking about how he started dating some girl he really really into her but he's kind of like he he goes that he's got that like sinking feeling that he doesn't have any of the control she's the one eating everything is on her terms she's got all the power and he was going what can I need to get it back and Rob and I give him three tips start off okay you never put your finger on it but like this guy you end up like you start realizing oh man I'm getting shorter than the stick here and you know one of the first things that you can do and what we talk you know we talk our mutual friend to do is very simple but asked her to do you a favor yeah it's counterintuitive but it is you know there's psychology behind it explain absolutely who's he gonna get behind it's got a funny but you talk a lot about telling guys who avoid nice guy behavior and specifically you know you're trying too much to do a girl a favor be you know this you know white knight and I kind of think any guy who's tried that obviously knows that that sort of behavior almost always backfires it almost always you know goes the other way and it repels women and but they don't think of the the inverse of that which is asking her to do you a favor and the psychology of this goes back to something you said it with I didn't realize it but again for justification and it's in influence it's an influence and it's a pretty well-known fact that the more effort you put into something you wind up being more invested in it and it's a lot of the reason why you know we always talk about guys who even though they they realize with a woman that it's not going where they wanted to go they put so much effort in that they convinced themselves they like her you're kind of doing it reverse when you're asking her to do you a favor there's normally it's the opposite right normally you're driving her to the airport like moving furniture you're fine but when you go to and say her even something as simple taking you can you give me a ride somewhere or hey can you you walk my dog when I'm at work anything that you have her do it's it's counterintuitive because you think that it would like be like a burden on her but when she's doing it it's actually gonna make her more invested in you exactly it's like it's like you feel good when you help someone out and you said you know I've danced big reason why a lot of guys do nice guy teenagers because they feel good about themselves that you know and you want to give her the opportunity to be to be your white knight you know it's something a lot of guys don't think about me I know I used even though my own girlfriend I've had her translate things for me you know about speak Spanish and she's she's Mexican so I'll have her I'll ask her to translate something for me and it's the important thing you don't the S is a big favor or ask her to do some monumental thing please but it should be something that requires her to take some time out of her day that requires some investment out of her yeah one last thing on it I think there's a part of it that makes it effective is that it's there's something in your brain when you're doing something you have to you have to you have to like kind of realize why you're doing it and in her mind there's something telling her well if I'm doing this it must be because I like this guy her office I wouldn't be doing it you've even been Franklin that there's a story about how he had this big feud with the guy and Ben Franklin was in the wrong and in order to like end a feud Ben Franklin actually asked him hey can I borrow this book from you the guy lent him the book and then he wound up forgiving Ben Franklin but he would think it would be the opposite but that's how it works so that's number one is getting her to do some sort of saber for you it's subtle but it starts establishing a little bit more of your power now number two you want to talk about number two that we told everybody last night sure so number two is you really want to avoid any sort of justification any kind of explaining yourself and I know that sounds somewhat obvious especially you guys who are familiar with dating advice but where we seen scum taken were looking on this guy's text and we're seeing you know she was subtly maybe asking him you know almost kind of a hug an accusatory tone she was saying stuff like you know why don't you give me a surprise this was wrong my buck and he immediately you know when we read his text was saying stuff like well I did it because you know ah you know I have a degree in this you know I'm an expert and you know I don't but and he thinks that I you know that he's simply defending himself or showing her why she's wrong but at the end of the day what he's actually doing is he's just revealing his hand but he has the lower status position in this relationship dynamic it's kind of like this like a Frogger I were working with a client and we gave him a piece of advice and then he's like well you why did you give me that advice like and we started the well you know it normally works and it should have worked in it would lower like our authority and that thing and in the other hand if we go listen that's what works so you know like you don't have to do it but that's what works automatically you get that status back because you have that certainty like listen like you're not defending yourself you're not explaining well normally like it said no that's what work you don't have to do it that's what works right and it's all about that authority whether it's with a girl whether it's like in a situation where you know what if you're anything you always want to be in the authority don't want to give it away by it so I was telling Rob earlier you know I'm having my pulled on and I had a couple estimates and I go to the guy doing my poll the other guy was cheaper and my pool guy goes well then go with him you know he didn't say well I do more work you said well go with him and I didn't go with him I went with a guy who was more expensive because he was so confident so I go with him you know he didn't explain himself so exactly it just had a really extreme example you know who kind of turnarounds before like if you saw Mike maggiorin on the street anyone's playing with Jordan you were like you suck at basketball Michael Jordan wouldn't sit there and well I would always a mansion which I thought was the MVP it or you'd all the stuff he would just play okay pal like like laters you know like again okay you know and that's really how you have to look at this and if you want to take that power back you want to get on an even footing with a woman who you feel that you're losing power with her you have to be very very careful never to just you know give me had wrestled agents or be really logical give justifications for anything that she throws out there yep and now the third thing that we noticed when we were kind of talking our friend and he is telling us you know I just feel like it's always like I you know cuz she's like he has a more flexible schedule than she does and he's always like it's always like heard get cheating when we hang out it's like it's always like I'm always like wondering if it's so true you know it's not good 30 you know and we realized that she had all of the time power right and you kind of explained it so I'll let you kind of take over of getting that time power back sure yeah and exactly and that's a big thing is that when someone has a lower status positioned in a relationship the person who's highest status position sees that person the lowest status as their time is not being as valuable their time seems like it started blended and just like anything in life the more abundant something is the less value it has so you really need to apply some scarcity to your time one very easy way to do this is to give a time constraint anytime you meet up or you get on the phone or you do anything with this woman you should say oh you don't read copy but I gotta be out by you know I can only stay for an hour or if you get on call - hey I thought I'd call you quick because you know I've put ten minutes but I gotta be able to phone and you know noon you know and you know and ideally you you have something your life that makes this plausible but even if you don't you still should do this you still should figure out ways where you get an imposed these time constraints because of the fact that that won't make her start to see your time as having value again subtle thing in it it's something that in like sale salesmen do it all the time when they're trying to sell you something they know that say hey I got I got I got another call they're like positioning themselves as being important right and a lot of times guys we're so afraid that let's just woman when she does have that time power of it she's kind of controlling everything we we see her time as being more valuable because we're like well if I if I can't hang out tonight I might not get to see her till next week and that's such a scary thought when you're really into a girl and she begins to realize that even if it's on a subtle level she kind of knows like okay like he's gonna be flexible so I don't have to and you've got to be you've gotta be you know cognizant to not let that happen because then like anything that is too abundant it becomes a commodity and it becomes less valuable yeah absolutely so and and just really quick also to that applies you know even just worth meeting up but also with calling your girl back responding to her texts you know I mean a lot of guys know maybe you know to wait a little bit longer that kind of thing but even a lot of times if a girl calls you right guys get really excited they want picked off right away and I'm not saying that you can't pick up the phone or you can talk to her but even if you have to like not take your ball and call her back 2 minutes 10 minutes 15 minutes later just so the sub communication is that you know you're on my time that like that that you know that because a great move with that this is thank me for this one right is if she texts you right most guys a bit well I'm not gonna text her back till tomorrow you see she calls right maybe she calls you know I'm not gonna call her back till tomorrow a better move is to control the timing is like you wait like to like maybe like whatever before you go to bed or some of the hate so you called I'll hit you up tomorrow and then it's like you're dictating like it's gonna happen tomorrow early and then she's like well if you have the time to text me that why didn't you just call me it's even more powerful than just not calling until tomorrow yeah tell her 8:00 so you called I'll call you tomorrow and they said couldn't call me tonight you know all right so to quickly review to get the power back or at least maintain some equal power in a relationship number one is you want to get her putting in some more effort and you can do that by asking her to do you a favor doesn't have to be a big favor right it could be hey can I borrow that book of yours hey you were telling me about this can you can you send me something a little bit more information on you know hey can you drive me somewhere hey like anything it could be small but getting a habit of making her do you favors because chances are you're volunteering to do her favors or she's asking for things occasionally so at least make it equal number two was that you want to not explain yourself you don't want to justify yourself and it's very tempting when she says something and you want to explain yourself to jump into that but you want to just avoid and guys like just kind of let it roll off you don't feel the need like you said if you were to go up to Michael Jordan be like LeBron James just better than you like Michael Jordan is not gonna go I want more championships ahead you know that's cool like he's like and he's not gonna like justify himself right at number three take the time control right don't don't let her have all the time power make yourself less available put a limit on something whether if you're if you're saying hey you want to meet up today be like hey do you want to meet up today I've got you know I got someone to meet at 9:00 but between 7:00 you know I have a couple hours before then if you want to meet up or if it's the phone call like I said don't always call right back or even send the text and say hey just so you colle but I'll call you back tomorrow so that you own a little bit of that time control so put those to use let us know what you think subscribe to the video and if you haven't already watched the Scrambler video it goes a little bit more in depth of other sort of you know ways to take a little bit more control right to stop giving your power away and take a little back hey Decker yeah because I mean so much of this isn't you know kind of that note to end on is so much of this is subtle like our friend probably could not put his finger on oh you know she started having more power this you know on this date or dispo Twitter link 10:36 p.m. on you know December 15 you know a lot of the time it's a cumulation of a lot of different things a lot of different factors that are very abstract people really realize they're happening until all of a sudden you realize that goes shit like I'm in you know put man yeah she's in the higher power position here and and she's losing attraction because of it and so to get that power back there's never any just one single grand gesture move that you can do that can suddenly restore that power dynamic instead what works is by the subtle little things that you start applying as you start making Percy your time is be more valuable even yeah just to jump in um you even even if you're starting this you a new girl like you're like well I've already blown it with this water I don't when you get into a relationship or you start dating anybody new make a conscious effort to start thinking like this okay it doesn't have to be trying to get the power back later be conscious even early on in a relationship like let me ask her to do a favor like you know yeah yeah first date if she tells you something and say hey sentence and send me that link right if she's talking about something since it's just she tells you that she really likes this movie send me a link to that movie so that when she goes home she's gonna do something for you exactly exactly you pretty how do you be preempted is that better that's that's a fine point alright guys hope you enjoyed beam us a comment below and let us know what you want to cover in the next video ...
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